I had insisted to her that I hadn’t meant to do it! As her voice raised, so did mine. I was trying to explain that I had only forgotten one thing! As tears rolled down her face, she exclaimed that I had done way more than forgotten one thing. She was trying to explain that by forgetting this one thing, I had hurt her in many ways. I hated what I was hearing, and the hard truth was she was right. Although it may have been just one day of the year, this one day showed much more about all the other days than I had wanted to admit.

Anger and emotion. Sorrow and regret. Feelings of hurt were flooding my mind. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to rewind the day and get it right. But I couldn’t. In the past I would have moved forward as if nothing happened. But this time it was different. Something in me had flipped. For the first time I began to see how forgetting one thing, or one day, had brought her so much pain. That by showing her this one time she was forgotten, the truth was that I had forgotten her many times, and in many ways.

As the emotions left and time came, I began to think. How had this one thing brought on so much more? How could breaking one day’s importance, lead to the failing of all others? The thought seemed extreme. It seemed to literal. A seed of pride in me wanted to hear nothing of it. But the spirit in me said,”Love is to lay your life down, not hold unto it.” This one thought began to unravel how the forgetting of one thing stemmed from me thinking I was the important one. My days had become so busy, and the business and tasks of the day took over the love for the one. The one that mattered the most.

I indeed did love her, and in my effort to love, I wanted to limit how much I hurt her. I loved her and didn’t want to see  that I could hurt the one I loved. And in my effort to not hurt the one I loved, I hurt her more. I didn’t want to see that by forgetting the one day, that what I was saying is: “I’m more important, I’m in charge, I’m the one that matters.” After those thought went threw my mind, tears filled my eyes. How could I think and say such a thing to the one I loved? No, I didn’t outright say it, but my actions spoke it. And by my actions I realized what I spoke  was, my life, my plans, my schedule, my ideas matter more. And that’s not what love is. 

Love is putting others interest in front of your own. Love is being kind. Love is sacrificing yourself for the one you love.And now I saw the second thing I had broken, by forgetting one thing, one day. I had shown her that I had not loved her. I had shown her I was more important, that my interests were more important, that my love was shallow. I had failed to praise her. I had failed to thank her. I had failed to make her number 1. All these things were culminated by forgetting one thing. But it is never just one thing. Our actions are never just one broken promise. One broken day. One broken moment. Do not try to minimize the effect of your failure, for when you do, you are missing many other points and opportunities for growth and change.